Editor's Note: This rant is not related to any current happenings in Promo's life. It is just a rant in general, held in his mind, and just now finding its way to life in print.
I have just about had it with Hallmark!
Every greeting card I go out to buy for her on our special day is just about dripping with saccarine (or would that be Nutra-Sweet? Splenda?). I am all for romantic cards, but enough is enough. Granted, I could get a blank card and write my own message, but why would I want do that? It is so much easier to just sign my name and scribble an "I Love You" above it. But try and find one that say just enough!
You will three types of cards for men to give women. Funny. Romantic. Apologetic.
Let's discuss:
1- Funny. You can give her a funny card only if it isn't insulting AND you follow it with a romantic card. So don't bother. You run the risk of an insult and you have to purchase two cards.
2- Romantic. Ooey, gooey with sappy lovey-dovey things you would never say to her in real life. Sure, she'd like to hear them. But she knows as well as you that it doesn't really come from your heart.
3- Aplogetic. Never, ever buy these cards! They begin with "...although I probably don't tell you as often as I should, I am so wrapped up in your spell..." and so on. Do you really want to remind her that you never tell her sweet things? This is a bad, bad idea and a bad, bad card.
So what to do? Beats me!
I do know what not to do, don't go to the local grocery store and buy a card. You may save $2 on the card but it reeks of after-thought (just like the bundle of flowers you bought her with the bar code sticker on the side). She will read the back, know it is not a hallmark and draw all sorts of conclusions.
And don't you dare make on on the computer and print it out! If I need to explain further fella, then you are beyond hope.
Your best bet is to shop for a card early. Yes, early. Did you know you can buy Anniversary and Birthday cards any day of the year? Yeah, the don't just sell them on the day of your special day. The more time you give yourself the better chance you have of finding the ONE card in the rack that isn't soaking in romantic babble.
Another word of advice worth repeating: write somthing in the card besides your name. Write a little love note, something simple, but write something! I think the lovely female readers here will back me up on this.
I am certainly no "Continental" when it comes to "ze language of luuuuv" but I know a little bit more than the average Joe about how to take care of a lady. Put a little effort into it, invest a little more time in it and it will show. She'll notice.
Follow these simple steps and you will truly have a very, veeeeery nice time on your special night.
I noticed the late addition of the "editors note". Your SO think you were getting at her huh?
I'm always putting my foot in it like that. I've lost count of the numbers of time I've had to say "No, I didn't mean it like that......".
hallmark schmall mark, it's nice to know someone went to the trouble to get me a card!
Personally I like getting a funny one. I always say that the only man who could ever keep me interested for very long would be one who could make me laugh.
d.
Actually, I don't think my SO has even ever read my blog. In fact, I am not even sure she knows how to get online (or cares to). If so, she's never said a word (and I have said a few things here I think I'd be called to task about).
I added the "note" because someone asked the rant was in regards to any sort of special day my SO and I were celebrating. And it isn't. It's just a leftover rant that wanted out.
I had to restrain myself from going off about "Valentine's Day" and how I feel about that whole concept!
(Me showing restraint - imagine!)
I've said it before and I'll say it again. I think you need to teach my husband a thing or two. LOL As for the card... I have to agree with Rhonda. I would be happy to get ANY card. To know that my husband has thought of me at ALL would be good enough for me. These days it seems like I only exist when someone wants something. >:o(
Oh blah... don't get me started on Valentines Day either lol... I think its a conspiracy dreamt up by someone whos trying to show me to be the cold-hearted cow that I obviously am :)
Don't get me started on Hallmark. I "worked" at my local Hallmark retailer one summer. "Worked" because I was technically an employee, but they never gave me any hours to work...
I think most women would just love it if you just wrote something simple and heartfelt on a blank card yourself. Now I'm not talking about some grand poetry. I'm talking, "Baby, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I love you to the moon and back."
That's it! Simple, and to the point. I would definitely prefer that over someone else's long-winded love sonnet comparing me to summer's day. :-D
And now "America's Treasure," Maya Angelou has sold her soul to Satan and/or Hallmark. Check it out: http://www.pw.org/mag/is_maya.htm
Definitely, blank card - little heartfelt note. You don't have to be eloquent, just sincere.
That'll get us every time.
I'll tell you something that has always bugged me - it is so incredibly difficult to find anniversary cards that DON'T say "husband" or "wife" in them. Unmarried people may celebrate an anniversary too, and I always hated how many otherwise great cards I had to pass up because they said "to my husband" on them. I finally gave up and started buying those ones anyway and I put quotation marks around husband. :)
Its just me that has to explain myself then......
Totally agree with you on the cards. My personal route is the "arty-crafty" cards with a basic, simple message on it.
You know, I think funny cards are great. And I don't require a follow up 'romantic' card. Romantic cards suck. Especially when given by a guy who wouldn't know a romantic thought if it hit him upside the head! So, just give something that sounds like it's from you. Not something that you think the chick wants to hear. That never works the way you want it to!
Personally, I hate cards. I don't buy them, and I don't know what to do with them when someone gives them to me. I mean, it's just a card... but it's supposed to "mean more"... so, what do I save it? How long after it sits up on the mantle is it okay to toss it?
I think no matter what, it's all canned. It could be dripping with splenda :) or funny, it still doesn't come from the person's heart. (no matter WHAT hallmark says!)
Besides, I think flowers are prettier than cards, and I'd take them any day... even ones that have a barcode on them! And at least with the flowers, I pretty much know when it's okay to toss them. ;-)
(end rant) LOL!
I think cards can be nice but remember if someone wants to know how much you sent, its usually on the back of the card. Regarding the Hallmark card its usually just a status thing,like comparing DelMonte to Prade etc. If you go to the trouble to make a card its more homey. Sue