Heaven Can Weight

Reading about Jennifer's lament about her weight really touched me.

One thing I've always felt was that a person's weight wasn't important. Of course, when you get into the area of obese where health risks enter the picture, then you have to address that.

The magazines, beauty shows, commercials, heck even the new Star Search, all place a huge amount of importance on being slender. When I see 7, 10 and 13 year-old girls ordering a "Diet Coke" at McDonald's, it bothers me.

I have a neice that began to get heavy at a young age, 8 or 10, and all my relatives could do was focus on her weight. I tell you, I love that sweet girl. I always would play with her, tell her she is great and smart and overlooked the weight issue. Meanwhile, her Mother would correct her eating habits in front of everyone, talk about how she was putting her on a diet and so on. Now honestly, I don't know what her life was like every day, maybe this went on a lot, or maybe it was an isolated incident. But I saw her again for the first time in about 4 years and she was taller, but still heavy. And her mother was still talking about weight issues. But that smile on the girl's face was as vibrant as it ever was.

Isn't there something known as a self-fufilling prophecy?

I hate to see children caught up in their parent's issues. But again, it is not my place to be judgemental. I don't know the whole story. I just know what I see and what I saw wasn't encouraging, supportive or positive.

In my personal life, I don't care much about weight. M'Lady does, of course, and chose to go through Weight Watches to loose weight. Over a year she lost over 30 pounds and feels much better. I would say she looks amazing, but to me, she always did. We surely have had our problems but it was never about weight or looks. I even did the WW plan alongside her, and lost about 25 pounds, most of which I have kept off.

For me, it became all about food choices. I cut out cokes almost entirely. I used to drink two 2 ltr. of Coke each week. When I stopped and drank diet Coke I lost 10 pounds. Eventually, I cut out the Diet because of the news I read about NutraSweet (as well as Splenda). I also cut out most caffiene, though I still have a Frapp or a Caupp now and then. I drink mostly water and decaf tea these days. And I don't miss the Coke.

But it wasn't about the Coke, it was about being ready to loose weight. I'd gotten tired of buying new Dockers each year. I want to spend my money on fun things, not clothes. So I made a choice to change things. I was ready and I did it. Kinda like Smoking. A smoker won't usually quit until they are ready, you can nag and moan, but nothing happens until they decide it is time and are ready.

Again, weight is a touchy subject. I think many women and men are destined to weigh more than others. I think it is in the genes and that is what was meant to be. I think it is wrong to use slender models as society's measuring stick for what people should look like. I think it is wrong for husbands to be critical of their wives' weight (especially when most hubby's have that nice "dunlap" going on).

I will stop short of saying accept who you are and love yourself. Because I know that can't happen. If you feel heavy and look in the mirror and see failure, no amount of pep talks will change that. You have to be ready to make a change. Maybe now isn't the time to change. Maybe it is. Or maybe you can be happy with how you are put together. The problem with this entry is that it sounds like a bunch of B.S. Like I am only saying what I want someone to hear, but you don't believe me. Or, at least, that's what I've been told in real life. Sorry but it is truly how I feel. And there are probably more men like me out there than you know, hopefully you picked one of us! If not, remember we are right about this!

I don't want to bore you with cliches and plattitudes. This entry will probably do nothing to help anybody's situation. But it is a point of view that should be heard. And if you read this far, I guess you agree. Thank you for sticking with me.

I just know that for me, I don't see weight as an issue. I can see past that, into who is really inside. And, next time you step up to the scales, I hope that you can too.

file this under Body
Posted by on January 21, 2003 @ January 21, 2003 12:35 PM    
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