I finding out I quite a bit stronger than I realized.
I able to handle a lot more pressure, stress, sadness, lonliness, fear, and loss than I thought. Being “there” for someone else, being strong for them in the face of cancer isn’t easy. You really can’t share your worries and fears with them – it would decimate their fragile emotional state. So much goes into being positive, building up confidence and providing distractions, that there is seldom time to deal with your own emotional “stuff.”
Usually after having endured so much I reach my capacity and the dam breaks – spilling an emotional flood on whoever happens to be nearby. Thus far, it hasn’t happened. Internalizing things isn’t for the faint of heart. Bottling up emotions takes years of practice to get just right.
Yesterday traffic accident was a true test of that.
I sure at some point I will actually have to deal with all of this emotional junk, but for now I pretty pleased with how I doing.
But I could use a break. Hey, “Powers That Be” would you mind? No more straws on this camel’s back for a while, please.