I. Don’t. Think. I. Can. Do. It.

(said in your best William-Shatner-as-Kirk-in-a-crisis voice)

This isn’t working. I tried my best. Really. But I getting weak.

After much internal debate, I decided THIS was the week I QUIT DRINKING COFFEE!!!

So, I’ve made it to Friday (today) without so much as a sip.

But I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.

Why would I try to stop? Well, you don’t understand how I like my coffee.

I don’t like it black (must. resist. line. from. “Airplane.”) Nope.

My coffee is more like “A Candy Bar In A Cup!”

Loads of sugar. Loads of Creamer. 2aretto creamer cups. Bliss!

Yeah, so now you know.

When I checked the scales and saw I was up to a plump 157 pounds (!!!!), I figger’d most of that HAD to be due to the coffee.

Right? What else could it be? It sure couldn’t be due to the fact that I don’t exercise, that I eat a huge bowl of popcorn at 11PM 2-3 nights a week, nor the times I go crazy and have 2 bowls of sweetened kids cereal before bed. Nah, it ain’t all that. Has to be the “doped up” coffee I drink 2-3 times a day.

Well, it’s been 5 days now, and I did OK. But today it is cold and rainy. Perfect coffee weather. The office is dark and damp, a chill in the air. And, Girlfriend, I wanting me some Coffee!

If I give in, what does that say about me? About my willpower?

Oh Girl, when I walk by the Coffee pot as it is brewing another batch of the Devil’s Bean? Maaaan, it almost does me in!

Maybe I picked the wrong week to stop sniffin’ glue to stop drinkin’ coffee. Maybe I don’t need to after all. Maybe I need some more excuses to justify caving in. Care to help? Any enablers out there?

Aw man, someone just walked by with a fresh cuppa Joe.

This ain’t gonna work.

Damn.