Here is a thought I would LOVE to see picked up and discussed at “Pick Up You Own Damn Socks!” I was giving thought today to men and their men friends and how we “change” when we are around them. (Maybe a PUYODS writer will take this thread and run with it)
I have a good bud, Bill, who I’ve known since High School. Now, my S.O. likes him and all, but she is not too keen about us hanging out together. And I don’t blame her.
Something happens when men start hanging out together. We seem to get this “pack mentality” and do the Tim Allen “Arh arh ahh ahhh” sounds or something.
Before we get with a Bud, we are sweet and cool to our ladies, kind and thoughtful (for the most part). But get us around a guy friend, and something happens.
Or maybe it is just me.
And to be honest, I don’t like the “me” I become around him. I’m not that fella anymore. Bill is a great guy, but he is now single, lives alone and can do what he wants when he wants. I am not in that place anymore. But he still lives like he is 21. And for him, that is great. But for me, I just can’t go back to that place. I don’t want to. I wasn’t all that happy at that time in my life anyway. We don’t have those things in common anymore, and it make it hard to hang out.
So when we DO hang out we tend to talk about girls, his sex-capades, the new upgrade on his PC, the new game he bought, or how his job is going. This is not what I would call a deep and meaningful relationship. But when we visit, I get drawn into that world. It’s like, “Ah yeah, I remember when I could do that. – Ohh man, you did WHAT to her? – I could use a faster computer too. – and so on.” And honestly, I don’t like the guy I become when I am around that.
It isn’t really fair to blame him for my weakness. But the best way for me to avoid that is to not be in that situation.
Anyway, I am just speaking for myself here. But I would love to know if I am right, that men seems to change when around other guy friends, or more to the point, that “one” guy friend (maybe from High School) who is the “bad influence” wild child. There always seem to be one lurking somewhere in our lives.
OH.. your SO is a woman? I thought for sure you were gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that)… sorry… Just the impression I got. Color me surprised (and embarassed).
Haha, now that last comment just had me rolling. Some of us know better. As for the wild friend just remember this…friends are friends and eventually the ones like yours grow up, get married (sometimes again), have kids and then they become like us. Not that us is a bad thing it’s simply a change in priorities. =)
Thanks for the material…I needed a starter for today…hehe.
Old age?
Perhaps it’s just old age…hehe.
you know what though? girls do that, too. Or at least I do.
And partially my doing, and (I'm sure) partially their doing…those friends and I don't hang around too much anymore, because of the differences in our lifestyles, and the shifting of priorities. The things we once had in common, like you mentioned, are mostly gone now.
What I sometimes lose sight of when I'm around these people, and the thing I sometimes have to remind myself of, is this: you just have to be happy where you are in your life and who you are sharing it with. Its so easy to get caught up in the things you *can't* do anymore, and the person you aren't anymore, and lose focus of all the good things that have come about since you changed your lifestyle.
(ie settling down…being in love…becoming domesticated…coming out of the closet…heee. just kidding. I got a giggle out of Jane's comment *grin*)